I just submitted my last final.
I have to present my work at 8 am.
Gone are the days of simply walking in to the testing center,
laying it all out there,
and then suffering the consequences.
Now, I have to defend myself.
Potential public humiliation.
The panels of people want to know what I think,
why I think it,
and why what I think is important.
It is possible that what I think is not very important.
I recognize that.
But, let me tell you what is important.
I have spent the last five or so days sitting in the same seat on the couch
trying my best to complete the final projects expected of me.
There were some things that I could easily breeze through because of the knowledge I had gained throughout the semester,
and others that were a little more difficult.
It has caused me to think about how prepared I am for when the finals of life come at me.
Will I have to sit in one place,
crowding my mind with things that should have been acquired throughout life,
rather than in one sitting?
Or maybe I am prepared to take it all in stride and move forward with the person I have become and the knowledge I have gained.
and then God took advantage of a perfectly-timed teaching moment...
because right now is one of my finals.
The real kind.
Right now is one of those times that God has given my family the opportunity to prove how prepared we really are.
When this final started, I began buckling under the pressure.
I felt sick and unprepared.
I felt like plopping myself on the couch and waiting out the storm
and then I remembered that
I've been cramming for this for 26 years!
All of that spiritual cramming,
all of that was for right now.
All of those sleepless nights of figuring out who I am and what I believe...
the pleadings with God to increase my faith...
the waking up at 3 am only to realize that I feel asleep during scripture study again...
All of that was for this very minute.
So, I'm ready for this one,
but it's probably a good idea to start cramming for the next one
even before this one's over.
Finally I understand why daily prayer is important.
Finally I understand why I should store up my spiritual knowledge on a daily basis.
It's for the finals.
It's for these minutes.
I finally get it.
Well played, Heavenly Father.