Friday, February 15, 2013


I think I've finally figured out what love is.
This questions nearly drives me crazy.
What is love? 
("Baby don't hurt me...don't hurt more")
(That song is now in all of our heads.  Sorry.)

Give it a go.
Try to define...with words...what love is.
Let me know what you come up with.
(No seriously, leave your definition in a comment, please.  I'd really like to know.)

It's love month.
A single day of love is not nearly long enough, so we celebrate love month.
We did some special things yesterday 
and reminisced about how I broke up with the Mister on Valentines day three years ago.
(Nearly the biggest mistake of my life)
(Luckily for me, the Mister is the most forgiving person in the world...and has continued to prove that 3 1/2 years later.)
(I wonder how many sets of parenthesis I'll use this post...guesses?)
(Maybe ten.)

Let me explain why I made the eager decision to dump my honey.
I didn't believe in changing what I imagined the world should be like.
I was 24 and knew exactly what I expected from a husband.
(Note to 24-year-old NEVER know exactly what to expect from a significant other.  Never.)

When my then boyfriend asked me a question about an event I was performing at
and I answered with
"No.  You don't need to be there.  It's not a big deal."
"If you miss this event, I will tear out your heart and break it in two."

That was back when I believed that men could read women's minds.

We were broken up for five days.
All five of which I saw him somewhere around town
(and every time I saw him, my heart felt like someone was beating it with a hammer)

On the fifth day, I was sitting in the parking lot of my apartment in my purple Honda Civic
when I called my dad to explain the whole situation to him.
He listened carefully and then said the very opposite thing that I wanted him to.

"You owe that man an apology.
Whether you get back together or not, you owe him an apology."

Dang it, Dad.

So I did
And it was super hard
And humiliating
And I pretty much haven't stopped apologizing since then.

Because, let me tell you something
Love is choosing to stand by the same person through change after change after change.
That's what love is for me, anyway.
The Mister chose to stick with me even after that first time that he saw that I have major weaknesses.

And he, miraculously, chooses to stay next to me when
I leave all the lights on in the house.
I am screaming like a lunatic while in labor.
I act super crazy and blame it on no sleep.
I act like a drama-queen.
I get mad because his socks are on the floor and not in the laundry hamper.
When I throw out my back because I'm too stubborn to let anyone help me do anything.
And when I am still the worst Spanish speaker in the land even though I've been trying for years to learn.

And I choose to stay standing next to the Mister
when his job takes us away from family so we move
and then we move again
and again
and again.
When he never puts his dirty socks in the laundry hamper.
When we have $9 dollars in the bank account and still ten days until pay day.
When we start businesses that fail.
When we have dreams that pass by without becoming reality.

And our love will continue because we are not who we used to be
and we love each other anyway.
I know that we will continue to be become even less of our 24 and 25 year old selves
and times will get even harder
but we've chosen to stick it out
and enjoy it.

That's what love means around these parts.

And these:

(thanks to our friend Zack at for introducing us to this video.  It's fairly life changing.)


  1. Haha Michael hates when I leave the lights on. But we totally understand doing the failed businesses over and of these days! Got to sick together until then!

  2. my definition of LOVE is commitment... that's what love is. ;-)

  3. When I was in the 9th grade, the seminary secretary had a sign in her window that said, "Love is the feeling you feel, when you feel you are feeling a feeling you've never felt before." I'm still trying to figure out what that means.

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  5. "Love is learning the song that is written on someone’s heart,
    and singing it back to them when they can’t remember how it goes."

  6. Love this post. Love is a bad habit. But the good kind of a bad habit - one we don't have to break.