this kind of glamour

Two days ago, we went for a morning walk as a family.

I had the baby in her baby carrier and she clutched the fingers of my left hand oh so tight.

In my right hand was the hand of my lover.

As we walked along,

drinking in the warmth of the sunshine,

I got teary behind my sunglasses because I realized that

I have a life to be envied.

I'm not meaning to sound snooty

I just suppose that a life that looks like mine didn't always seem appealing or glamorous to me.

We are not rich.

I do not have any Broadway credits.

We don't go to fancy parties.

The Mister works incredibly hard but won't be retiring at age 35.

Most days I get showered, put on my makeup, do my hair, get dressed and never see anyone but the Mister and baby.

He is losing his hair

and at this current moment...so am I.

For 20+ years, I had a very sure idea of what I believed a glamorous life included.

I don't have any of the things I thought made glamour

and yet I am extremely content without them.

I have a husband that holds my hand

and tells me that I'm beautiful.

I have a daughter who grins a gummy grin,

claps for every stranger she meets,

and tries to sing along with every song.

I cook three meals a day, seven days a week.

We live on a small budget.

But we have 

everything.

Because we are not rich, we have learned to love what we do have.

The most excited and responsive audience I've ever performed for is my eight month old sitting in her high chair. I seriously doubt that a broadway audience was ever as enthusiastic as Celine is.

Instead of going to fancy parties every day, we get to sit down around the table together for at least one meal a day...and sometimes more.

The Mister comes home from work with the most interesting stories to tell

and I look forward to learning new things from him every night.

We look different than we did when we first met, but when I look at the Mister I don't see a receding hairline and somehow he doesn't see the dark circles and the extra ten pounds I'm carrying around. 

I have found a deep happiness by realizing what a grand life I lead despite missing 

the stage,

my figure,

and getting dressed up in a dress and high heels.

Perhaps, in my naivety, I would have dreamed of going out last night to the opera

or a dinner party

but instead I sat by watching Celine as she watched her Papi as he read to her. 

And my heart swelled up

and I said a grateful prayer

for this kind of glamour.