Wednesday, February 27, 2013

this kind of glamour

Two days ago, we went for a morning walk as a family.
I had the baby in her baby carrier and she clutched the fingers of my left hand oh so tight.
In my right hand was the hand of my lover.

As we walked along,
drinking in the warmth of the sunshine,
I got teary behind my sunglasses because I realized that
I have a life to be envied.

I'm not meaning to sound snooty
I just suppose that a life that looks like mine didn't always seem appealing or glamorous to me.

We are not rich.
I do not have any Broadway credits.
We don't go to fancy parties.
The Mister works incredibly hard but won't be retiring at age 35.
Most days I get showered, put on my makeup, do my hair, get dressed and never see anyone but the Mister and baby.
He is losing his hair
and at this current am I.

For 20+ years, I had a very sure idea of what I believed a glamorous life included.
I don't have any of the things I thought made glamour
and yet I am extremely content without them.

I have a husband that holds my hand
and tells me that I'm beautiful.
I have a daughter who grins a gummy grin,
claps for every stranger she meets,
and tries to sing along with every song.
I cook three meals a day, seven days a week.
We live on a small budget.

But we have 

Because we are not rich, we have learned to love what we do have.
The most excited and responsive audience I've ever performed for is my eight month old sitting in her high chair. I seriously doubt that a broadway audience was ever as enthusiastic as Celine is.
Instead of going to fancy parties every day, we get to sit down around the table together for at least one meal a day...and sometimes more.
The Mister comes home from work with the most interesting stories to tell
and I look forward to learning new things from him every night.
We look different than we did when we first met, but when I look at the Mister I don't see a receding hairline and somehow he doesn't see the dark circles and the extra ten pounds I'm carrying around. 

I have found a deep happiness by realizing what a grand life I lead despite missing 
the stage,
my figure,
and getting dressed up in a dress and high heels.

Perhaps, in my naivety, I would have dreamed of going out last night to the opera
or a dinner party
but instead I sat by watching Celine as she watched her Papi as he read to her. 

And my heart swelled up
and I said a grateful prayer
for this kind of glamour.


  1. Oh, I love it! You do have a beautiful life! I loved being there with you guys and witnessing it for a short while. I wish we lived closer so we could be a part of each other's lives more often. :)

  2. Dear cousin,
    How did I not find your blog until now?! I linked from FB to the 'dear moms' entry last night and got lost as I followed post after post - until WAY too late at night - crying and smiling and laughing out loud, and feeling SO grateful that we are family. I hopped on again today to find another beautiful thought, lovingly presented. I am so grateful that you have the talent, the courage, and the goodness in you to share what you have. You truly have spread a lot of sunshine into my life in just the last 24 hours. A LOT. Thank you for being who you are, for everything you have gone through to learn the lessons you have shared, and for inspiring me to pause and appreciate the GREATness in my simple life. You have brought to my attention how happy I really am. :-) Thank you.
    Love you so! Valerie

  3. Oh AnnIe! Your posts always make my day. I seriously about died at that picture of Celine looking up at Javi while he was reading to her. It seriously makes my heart melt! Miss you!