I have recently been lost in thought about what it is that I do.
What do I do?
If today were the end of my life and I was asked:
"what is it that you did?"
What would I say?
Would I say that I performed in some shows?
Maybe I could say that I had the magical ability to take the most random ingredients and create awesome casseroles.
I could say that I spent lots of time leading a youth group for my church.
I guess I could also say that I loved to sew but had no idea how to follow a pattern.
I had a baby once. That was awesome. I did that.
I've traveled to several countries. I did that, too.
I pinned lots of things to Pinterest. That must be an accomplishment.
I was able to help lots of people learn how to sing.
Somehow, I convinced a man to marry me.
We even have fun together. I suppose that could go down on my list of 'what I did'.
Perhaps I could say that I took some mediocre photos and used some filters to create a beautiful Instagram account of my life (the last few years of it, anyway).
I could also say that I have eaten approximately 9,000 spoonfuls of peanut butter since my birth.
I've got a feeling that whoever I check in with once death occurs isn't really going to care about my casserole skills.
Unless, of course, there is a Heavenly Iron Chef Casserole competition on the day I arrive.
WHAT DO I DO?!?!?
While I don't want to be defined by my actions, I am.
I would rather be judged by who I am
it turns out that we BECOME ourselves by what we DO.
SO, WHAT IS IT THAT I DO??????
I don't know the answer.
I hope you have the answer to that question for yourself.
Because, I think that
when it's all over and done, it won't matter what I did.
I think that what will matter is how I left the people I came face to face with.
I guess I can just keep doing what I do
but focus more on the humans than the spoonful of peanut butter.
And focus on the humans more than their facebook status
or political beliefs
or sexual orientation
or belief in God.
I believe in humans
and I believe that we are here to be friends with other humans.
So, I'm not sure of what I've been doing
but I've decided that I'm just going to be your friend.
Maybe you could be someone else's friend
and then they could be someone else's friend
and then the whole world could be friends.
So that at that one dinner party we can be like
"oh! You know him?! He's a friend of my friend's friend's friend's friend."
If my life ended right now, I'd wish that I could report that instead of sewing 2 trillion maxi skirts,
I could report that I made peace and friends.
I think that's what I'm going to do.