Thursday, June 14, 2012

I have all the answers.

If you didn't want to get sick...
If you didn't want to throw up lots...
If you didn't want to gain weight...
If you didn't want to stop fitting in your clothes...
If you didn't want to lose all your energy...
If you didn't want to crave strange things...
If you didn't want your body to hurt all over...
If you didn't want to feel super emotional...
If you didn't want to stop sleeping...
And finally, if you didn't actually want to produce a human that will mess up your house, 
spit up their food, 
and keep you awake at night...


It's apparently been under testing for a long, long time but the doctors and scientists feel confident enough to allow me to post the results on my blog.
They call it:

I guess it's up for FDA approval...I'll let you know what happens with that.

Here's the thing:
I am NOT saying I'm perfect at keeping complaints to myself but I have come to realize that the opportunity to be a mother is the biggest miracle I will ever have a chance to be part of.
Loaning my body to someone else so that they can grow and develop for 9 months is such a blessing.
Feeling another human moving around inside my belly is the most thrilling thing I've ever done.
And this girl is really bummed out that it's almost over.

This just in:
 (Don't say I didn't warn ya)
I'm pretty sure that's a part of the deal.
But, did you know that every single person walking on this earth was BORN out of a woman?
That means that 97 GAZILLION women have experienced all the things listed at the top of this post
and somehow, they survived it...without posting about it on the WWW.


To all my girls who can't have children of their own:
Please allow me to apologize for the insensitivity of pregnant women everywhere.
I know you would give your right arm to experience morning sickness.
I know you would sell your belongings just to have stretch marks.
YOU are amazing women.
You are amazing especially because you can read statuses and blog posts all about how "horrible everything is for pregnant women" and your hearts can hurt and long for those feelings.
Thanks for your patience.

Now if you'll excuse me, I've got to go find a Little Caesar's that's still open.
Nope...not a craving...I've been wanting Little Caesar's at 10:00 at night pretty much every night since I was 6.
(This piece of White Trash trivia about the Lady brought to you by...
Looks like we're still looking for a sponsor for that one)


  1. ha ha ha. I miss you! Your corky posts are soo you and your darling personality shining through on the internet. Being pregnant is a miracle and such a blessing, I too am sad it'll soon be over for me, but also really excited. So,hang in there lady! You're almost there and it's really, truly worth it. :D

  2. Can I just say that YOU. ARE. AWESOME!!
    Not many girls recognize or realize how hard it is for those of us that can't have our own children to listen to beautiful pregnant girls complain about being pregnant.... Sure we take it like a grain of salt, we want to hear how they're doing especially when they're our friend, and we tell ourselves that they aren't purposefully trying to hurt us, but its still hard and sometimes its excessive. So thank you for recognizing it and also addressing it! It was beautiful what you said and you made me feel wonderful!! Can't wait to see pics of that cute baby of yours!! (and if you don't mind... I may share this post on my blog because I think it was that awesome! XOXO!)

  3. You are so cute! And I LOVE this post! I am so sorry I missed the ward shower when you were up! I hope it went well! Good luck over the next few weeks! I can't wait to see pics of your little one!

  4. Thank you for this post! I really appreciate how much you love being pregnant and how you understand that it is truly a miracle! You are so positive and uplifting. Thanks for the shout out for us that are struggling getting pregnant! You are a sweetie. I hope all goes well in the next few weeks. :) P.S Your personality is adorable!

  5. Ditto what Courtney and Red said. :) And yes, I would have given my right arm to be pregnant and feel my littles growing inside me. But then, I wouldn't have MY children. Adoption is also a miracle, albeit a totally different kind. And yes, I still cry sometimes, (okay a lot) about the fact that I will never have the experience of carrying one of my children. But then I see the sweet faces of my babies and know that even though I may not understand all the reasons why, it all happened the way it was supposed to.

    You are going to be the best mommy ever. I love you bunches my sweet little "sister." :)

  6. this is a great post. i wish more people thought like you. as a sterile woman who has been through multiple miscarriages, a still birth, 2 failed adoption placements (one of which we had our daughter for 2 weeks before she was taken away)... it just gets hard sometimes. thank you for being so sensitive. i wish you could rub off on the world. i hope somehow you do.