Thursday, October 23, 2014

Marriage advice from this girl

Since the marriage advice post, I've had several people ask what my marriage advice would be.
I suppose I could say one thousand things but all you really need to do is watch this video:

Do that.
Do what this man does every day, every hour, every minute and you'll have a good marriage.
No.  You'll have a great marriage.

I think it's obvious that not many of us are in this same situation so how can we do what he did?

Before the stroke, I was neglecting most of the things that my husband really needed.
He doesn't ask much 
he just needs food,
and clean clothes,
and a tidy place to do his homework.
He loves getting attention from me
and he needs a listening ear.

He's pretty easy to please but I still managed to neglect 3 or 4 or 5 of these every single day because
I was "too busy".

It has been nine weeks since the stroke and our marriage has improved in huge amounts.
All it takes is a made bed to crawl in to at night
and a chance to sit across from each other at our dinner table
-eating a warm meal and discussing the day.

It took discovering that the dry cleaners down the street launder and press men's shirts for $1.99
and the press stays in much better than mine so he can wear them more than once.
That means that I don't stand at the ironing board all day and he looks and feels like a million bucks.

All it takes is listening to a few TED talks or Conference talks to get all the laundry folded
and put away
so that his early mornings aren't spent going through laundry hampers trying to find matching socks.

It takes listening.
Really listening - like the kind where you put away the computer and turn off the phone.
The kind where you look into the eyes of the person speaking and you don't try to think of an answer because you are just there to listen.

You know what has happened?
He calls me lots more.
He wants to talk about work and school with me
and he makes me laugh...
you know, like best friends do.

And all it took was a little bit of SERVICE.
Haven't the prophets been telling us that for years?
If you serve each other then you'll love each other
or if you need to love someone then serve them (or something like that).

Strokes are bad
but mine was good
because it is really whipping my life - and everything in it - into shape.

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